The night two absolute menaces turned a 50/50 poker game into a 300,000 baht war.
Bangkok has its legends. Somehow, we keep finding ourselves in the middle of them.
A few days ago, I was listening to a podcast about the business of having a good life. One line stuck with me:
“A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.”
The secret to a good life? Be present.
Little did I know I was about to become VERY present. 😆
It started with two distinguished degenerates
My two distinguished degenerate friends decided drinking at noon was a brilliant idea.
Four or five bottles of sake, countless shots of Japanese whisky, and by 6pm we were absolutely smashed.
Then D suddenly asked me to join him for a poker game.
50/50 baht.
Wait. What?
I invite people to poker games. Since when did the tables turn? 😆
Apparently, some girl had invited him to a small home game hosted by her friends.
D: “LET’S GO FUCK THEM UP.”
Me: “HELL YEAH.”
(Head spinning.)
One hour in a Grab. 800 baht.
WHO THE FUCK TRAVELS ONE HOUR TO PLAY 50/50?
Welcome to Club 44
We arrived at this cute little house. Two young guys welcomed us into a cosy little poker room.
Club 44.
They had one special rule: win a showdown with pocket fours, and everyone pays you 200 baht. The house pays you 1,000.
Remember that. 😆
Everyone had around 5–7k in chips.
D and I looked at each other.
“Fuck it. Let’s load 15–20k each.”
Chip attracts chip. Money attracts money.
At first, everything was vanilla.
D was busy talking to the girl who invited him. I was sitting there trying to figure out my mission.
Do I act like a fish? Do I play seriously? What are we even doing here?
So I decided to observe.
I understood Thai perfectly, but I kept speaking English. I didn’t shuffle my chips. I limped practically every hand.
And conveniently forgot to mention that I understood Thai.
Then the grinder beside me, Aon, started talking.
I knew exactly what he was doing. 😆
He’d speak English to me, then switch to Thai with his friends.
Bro. I understood everything.
Aon: “You want beer?”
Me: “Cannot, bro. If I drink, I become CRAZY.”
I started making splashing gestures.
His eyes lit up.
“BEER! BRING BEER!”
D heard the word alcohol and immediately turned around.
We exchanged a look.
Oh boy. Tonight might be legendary.
I told Aon, “You drink, I drink. But if I lose all my money, YOU SEND ME HOME.”
He got so excited he drank his beer too fast and spilled it down his shirt.
Then one of the regulars suddenly said, “I know you. You’re a poker coach, right? You play high stakes.”
Man, why’d he have to spoil my fun?
I shook my head. “No, no, no poker coach. But I can teach you today if you like.”
Then I giggled and called an all-in with T9 offsuit, hoping that would settle the matter. 😆
In the end, I couldn’t keep pretending. I told them, “Yeah, sometimes I play 1k/2k.”
A few guys looked nervous, so I reassured them: “Relax. We’re not here to rob anyone. We just came to have a good time like everyone else.”
Enter the Squid Game
The game was still too small.
So we started calling all-ins with T9 and other ridiculous hands, asking everyone to play Squid Game.
“Can we play 100 baht per squid token?” D asked.
The Thai conversation started flying.
“The VIPs want to play Squid!”
“But P’Ying doesn’t know how!”
“Are you stupid? They want to play bigger. Let’s play bigger!”
“P’Ying, it’s very easy! We teach you!”
“Everyone, let’s load chips!”
“Does the house allow loans or installment payments?” some guy exclaimed, and everyone burst into laughter.
I understood every word.
But I couldn’t reveal myself.
I just quietly chugged my beer. 😆
And chanted, “All in, all in, all in.”
Shoutout to SP, the host. Cool fucking guy.
He caught the energy, sat down, and asked:
“Regency? Whisky?”
D’s head turned so fast it was like lightning.
“YES. DOUBLE SHOTS.”
We were dying laughing.
D: “Bro, they don’t know what’s coming.”
Me:
They don’t understand. I’m not stuck here with them.
THEY’RE STUCK HERE WITH ME.
HAHAHAHAHA.
And that’s when the real madness began.
The 300,000 baht Squid Game
D and I came up with a private side bet.
First, we made it 100,000 baht if one of us failed to collect a squid token.
Two rounds later, we decided that was too easy.
So we raised the stakes: we each needed two squid tokens before the round ended. The loser would pay the other 300,000 baht.
Just like that, a 100 baht Squid Game became a 300,000 baht war.
And nobody else at the table knew. 😆
Suddenly, our poker strategy looked completely insane.
I was calling with K7 on a 369 flop because he bet 800 baht. I had the right odds to hit a king or pick up a backdoor draw. Then he bet so small on the turn that I had to call again.
My opponent must have thought I was retarded, tank calling the flop and turn with K7 on a 3694 board.
We were VPIP 100%. We saw every flop.
I had T6 of hearts. Someone opened to 600. Another guy three bets to 1,800. I called behind with T6.
I swear, I can’t explain it any better.
We were playing like maniacs because we needed to see flops. Getting two tokens in a round was not easy.
If I saw a backdoor draw, I wasn’t folding. If I had any equity, I was seeing the river.
Every hand, I was thinking: How big is the invisible pot to me? What equity do I have? What equity do I need? 😆
From the outside, though, it probably looked like a drunk, stupid Chinese guy staring blankly at the board with a terrible hand.
When things got urgent, I was tank-calling 10k all-ins with T5 suited.
Shoving J8. J9. K9.
Why?
Because losing 5k or 10k in a poker pot meant nothing compared with losing the 300k side bet.
The young guys were completely confused.
“Why are these guys calling with such stupid hands?”
“They must be really drunk.”
“They came here to donate.”
“Load up, guys. Catch one big hand and get rich.”
I heard all of it in Thai.
They thought we were drunk whales.
But we were playing an entirely different game.
The first round finally ended, and we both barely survived.
PHEW.
The legendary 44
Then came the second round.
D and another guy got into a massive pot: 150k baht in the middle.
D had pocket fours.
The other guy had AK.
Preflop, all-in.
Everyone was shocked that D had got it in with 44 for “so many chips.”
In this game, when people got it in, they had QQ or better. 😆
The whole room held its breath.
Would the Thai reg spike an ace and win the biggest pot of his life? Or would this whale suck out on everyone?
Flop: A-J-8.
He and his friends jumped up, cheering. The guy was shaking. It was probably the biggest pot he’d ever played. Maybe two or three months’ salary.
He kept asking for insurance.
Turn: 5.
Now the whole room was sweating.
I looked down at the table.
Right there was the Club 44 logo.
I pointed at it.
“COME ON. FOUR FOUR!”
We started drumrolling on the table.
And then…
RIVER: 4.
BOOOOOOOM.
The whole room exploded.
People screaming. Jumping. Laughing.
The host’s face was pure horror.
HE HAD INSURED THE POT. 😭
I grabbed the pocket fours.
“CLUB 44, BABYYYY!”
And threw the cards into the air.
D tipped the dealer the entire 44 bonus.
Absolutely legendary.
My final stand
But I was in trouble.
D was now comfortably ahead in squid tokens. He had two.
I had zero.
And the table had started adapting. These guys were calling us down with king-high because they thought we were completely crazy.
Everyone kept raising their glasses to us, probably thinking the more we drank, the more money we’d donate.
They didn’t need to. 😆 We were already fighting for 300k.
Every pot mattered now.
D started goalkeepering me, calling with almost anything just to stop me from winning tokens. I shoved KQ, he called with J2 suited, and spiked a deuce.
Mofo.
My final stand!
54 suited.
I already had one token. I needed one more. This was my last chance.
“All in, all in…”
Fuck it. ALL IN.
It wasn’t enough. D goalkeepered me with some retarded hand, and the table scratched their heads again.
Mofo.
Final score:
D: 5 squid tokens.
Me: 1 squid token.
300,000 baht. Gone. 😆
The best part?
The whole room probably thought two completely drunk VIP whales had shown up to splash money around.
But we weren’t putting on a show. We weren’t deliberately gifting chips.
We were genuinely trying our absolute best to win.
They just had no idea what game we were actually playing.
And that’s what made the night so fucking funny.
I came to a tiny 50/50 game an hour away, not knowing what I wanted to do.
Somewhere between the whisky, the squid tokens, the miracle pocket fours, and losing 300k…
I figured it out.
I was completely present.
Just us two degenerates having a great time.
Bangkok poker. Club 44. What a fucking night. 🥃
